Page 10: 1st November 2006

The Big Fight
I was out on a project, like literally stuck. Chocolate ji is upset with me since many days, IDK why. To the best of my knowledge and belief, I was not the reason for this annoyance. And then she emails me (instead of the usual texts), “ajeeb si nature ho gayi hai yar kya karun....”
I was homesick. I didn’t like the endless
rains at that project plant. I did not like the scrumptious food reserved for
me. I did not like the bakar of those Heads of Departments of that otherwise
amazing PSU. I was shit bored of the loneliness at nights, when I was alone,
with my phone, and my memories. I feel homesick. In those moments of solitude,
despite having a very active social (media) profile, I got that sanyasi
feeling again, to go to the mountains and practice abstinence. I felt we came
alone, we will live alone, we will die alone, what’s the big deal? Unfortunately, on one such days, she called me. It was raining heavily outside, yet the air was heavily filled with pollution. Not only air, even my heart was full of pollution. She asked me her usual Kaisa hai, kahan hai, phone kyu nahi karta? And I abruptly, absent-mindedly, spoke the unspeakable! I casually said “in dino sab kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai, pata nahi haalat aise hain ya meri nature, sab ajeeb sa ho gayi hai.” Bas! This was the graphite to a nuclear reactor which was on the brink of an explosion. Aisa kya bol diya yaar tere words hi to copy kiye hain, n not fr the intention to pull ur leg but u r takin it tht way. Why wud I ever wanna pull ur leg...UR LEG---f*** ! Sachi mein..n nt me :-) ok sorry yaar tu pls confuse mat kar mujhe! Bas yaar ab main bilkul thak gaya hun...ab nahi
And then the big change.... Made up wid her now n told her ki i luv some1 bt
sm1 loves me n kab tak its ok to let her cry n b frustrated... It was like a mess,
and yesterday while casually chatting Arora’s friend texted me that she is
crying,  bullshit man how can I ever make
anyone cry. But what else is to be expected out of this situation, I am damn damn
confused.
Now since Chocs is on job, I donno why
am writin bt thn i lv to write. Arora told me all tht stuf abt lv n all, like how you feel when you find real love, what it feels lik n stuff...
told me all tht stuf abt lv n all, like how you feel when you find real love,
what it feels lik n stuff... So here goes my confession:

Its tru i wanna love n b loved
its true tht now i hv many to give me the
latter feeling
its tru tht gals r ready to have a fite fr me
Bt its also tru tht i hate thm all
its also tru tht i dont even wanna luk at
anyone
its also tru tht i love just one
even after so many years
evn after so much
just one n only one........
thts....my princess
dunno who :))))) maybe its uuuuuuuu :D